Up until today, discrimination and prejudice are still visible among societies around the world. Although we are living in the modern era where civilization practically shaped our personalities and perceptions to less discriminate, but apparently, I wouldn't see it as a failure but it didn't manage to reach the expectation towards the definition of 'Modern Civilization'. Haven't we learnt anything from history? Do we want certain events like the Holocaust or the KKK to be repeated? As we all know, those historical yet tragic events happened just within 60/70 years ago, not exactly a long time ago and God knows what other discriminative tragedies occurred on the other side of the world during that same time. Can we say that people had evolved or outgrown from these behaviours through time? Maybe yes for some, but of course not for all.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Emotions
It's in human nature that we need someone to confide our problems to. I may not seem like a person with feelings because I rarely show my emotions to people, even those around me. Somehow, I just don't want to share, partially because of my ego, and I guess another part of me thinks that they would not understand. It has pretty much becoming a part of the social norm when it comes to my circle of friends. It kills me to actually know that nobody would acknowledge my feelings anymore when I'm down and dealing with personal issues. I can't really blame them because it was me who wanted this. When it comes to my family, I know they know I'm dealing with all of the problems but apparently, they couldn't say anything. Hey, I may be like a heartless asshole, but I'm still human. I have to admit, these emotional attachments really do affect me, but I just never had the courage to actually say them aloud. I'm pissed with myself for not knowing what could really ease my pain. It's like I'm always complaining and whining yet I'm still not making an effort to actually do something bout it. I'm confused, basically my whole life and I'm not planning to prolong it anymore. Fuck this, I need to turn to God more and of course, cigarettes.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Goals in Life
Sometimes, have you ever wondered that when there's no purpose for living, there's no point of living at all? It's hard when you don't know what are your goals in life, I mean for example, when we were younger, there were certain periods that we will be looking forward to, like finishing high school, getting your driving license, or even graduating. I'm still halfway from getting my degree, but I feel like besides that, my family and God, I feel like I'm losing the interest, my desire, to explore and identifying the beautiful things in life. Maybe I'm just beyond the definition of boredom, to actually trigger my mind with these kind of thoughts. You know when you have nothing to do, and still wondering what to do, but did nothing in the end, yeah that's what I've been experiencing these couple of weeks. Maybe I just need to find something to do to occupy my mind and time, but there are too many distractions for me to finally do something which supposedly to be worthwhile, at the least, with my life. I should just get a grip, because I have to be thankful with what I already have so far in life. Getting more than what I have should be my motivation but it seems like that feeling of 'envy towards other people without effort of doing anything with your own situation' has been dominating my conscience. But no, I just have to shake it off and think more wisely and rationally with the things that matter most to me. It's still a long way to go, but I really hope that I'll pursue my goals to the extend of self actualization to really define what happiness really means to me, God's willing.
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